FedEx: shits on my box, stomps on my box, kicks it, dumps gasoline on it, throws one of my chickens into the back of the van
UPS: whispers at my front door “is anyone home” as quietly as possible before leaving a “we missed you!” note, tries to gaslight me into thinking my address doesn’t exist
USPS: sets my package down gently where it’s not visible from the road, knocks on the door and kisses me directly on the mouth
Is this…shipping discourse?
Amazon once threw a package at my door and then took a photo while it was midair. Not sure where that fits in this schema but I did want to tell y’all about it.
Protection of property and prevention of theft have never been a priority for police. Even when they do show up hours after you’ve called to report a robbery, their response is generally, “well, what do you want me to do about it?”
People talk about defunding the police like society will suddenly devolve into lawless chaos, but what exactly do cops do besides hand out tickets and escalate situations they’re meant to defuse?
tumblr glitch that causes everyones drafts to be published at the same time
This would be like that episode of Malcolm in the middle where Malcolm reads everyone’s secrets over the intercom and no one makes fun of each other but they also don’t make eye contact with each other for the rest of the year
if I die please don’t let my mom bury me with a ugly wig. Please let her know 28 inches of Brazilian wavy with a silk lace closure is what I wanted. Thank you.
28 inches and a silk lace closure? ima rob your grave.
I’d deadass come back to life like Smitty Werbenjagermanjensen and fight you like I was number 1
There is something very comforting about Schitt’s Creek where these guys can be out in a small town in the middle of nowhere, North America. It’s still very welcoming and there aren’t people who are outwardly homophobic. Was that an intentional choice?
